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D a i l y B u z z z z ! by Buzz Bee
Housewives From Hell
Just as the Real Housewives of New York season ends we get the Real Housewives of New Jersey, a rancorous version of NYC's claw-fisted divas. One aspect is certain: every group has its scapegoat. The New York scapegoat award goes to "stop, stop just stop" Kelly and in Jerseyland, it's Danielle Staub who takes the cake or should I say the coke? Stop Danielle! Kelly is the only one who's lips can be moving no matter how many botox injections youse two racked up! Kudos to Bravo for going deeper and deeper in the feral zone. The Real Housewives of Orange County cast come off as chilled out chihuahuas compared to the east coast crew. Perhaps the ploy is to refocus on the universal cat fight rather than luxury lifestyles of the blonde and bitchy. Ratings speak louder than words, the highest yet for the House Wives series. Let's not forget the GBF (Gay Best Friend) factor. How would the house-bitch-esses survive without them? Watch the Jersey-ites rule on Bravo. It's a train wreck about to happen! Hope there's a season 2 so we can witness more table flips and find out what Danielle allegedly try to " do" to rankle Dina.
McBucks: Pour That Into Your Pocket!
Haven't got the nerve to score a McCafé lately? Mickey D's lattes, cappuccinos and mochas, iced or hot, are for the taking since May's launch. Don't let the off-putting caramel and brown branding scare you, it's good inside. McCafé's bold espresso flavor permeates each quality concoction.
Perhaps the truly scary part is to be the brunt of a little recession humor from coworkers but then again, who's laughing about saving a few bucks these days? Frankly, I did a double take as a business casual whooshed past me with 2 McLattes in a plastic bag, a la Subway style. No eco-friendly Starbucks recyclable ditties anymore. This is war! Keep the change and McCafé Your Day.
Flame: Eau De Meat Hits The Street
The whiz kids at Burger King decided the male populus would love sauntering through the streets smelling like meat. Not any kind of meat mind you but two flame broiled patties on a sesame seed bun kind of meat. Enter Flame: Burger King's Cologne for men. If you caught BK's commercial on www.firemeetsdesire.com featuring the semi-naked Burger King dude himself striking a pose by the uh, fire, you'd know it's NOT a joke. The ad promises that “Flame by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat." First of all, the streets of nyc already smell like meat but I don't see the ladies falling for pushcart vendors. Set the mood at your own risk. Out running the pit bull who's going to sink its teeth into your flame-broiled jogging-suit-ass may not be the romantic lovequest you were hoping for. But what do I know? Well, I know I won't be gifting my dude with Flame - unless I'm ticked off big time!
Bum Back Pack: Haulin' Ass
Haulin' ass all over town can be hard work if you are in tow with gadgets galore. Why not let your as-sets do the dirty work? The geniuses at BBP thought so too, hence the slogan "What's on Yo Bum?" The "urbanomic" ultra cool Bum Back Pack is just the ticket.
Padded laptop compartment and straps, great gadget pockets (inside and out on the Hamptons Collection), multiple water bottle holders, a slot to slide onto your luggage handle - what more can you ask for? Road warriors will love the durable ballistic nylon exterior and water resistant fabric. BBPs take the strain off your back by shifting weight distribution evenly across the shoulders. And with a low center of gravity on your toosh, it's surprisingly comfortable. Dare I say, it's like getting a mini butt massage with every step. To avoid bum bounce while walking, er unless you like that sort of thing, attach the bag's narrow strap around your waist.
With a twist of the strap, Bum Back Pack's clever, award-winning design converts to a classic messenger bag for lighter load days. Plus there's a Biz Collection for those who don't want to appear too casual. Don't be surprised if you get stopped in your tracks and interrogated on where to buy one. So fork it over for a Bum Back Pack if you know what's good for you!
BBP Hybrid Messenger/Backpack Laptop Bag; $95; www.bbpbags.com
Rachael Ray-Isms
You either love the uber-perkiness of Rachael Ray or want to throw darts at her head. However you slice and dice it, her short talk can be stupefying or should I say her "ST" is a little brain numbing? Yeah yeah, I know Rach is multi-tasking 30 minute meals but "stoup" (hybrid of soup and stew) does not sound too "Yum-O!" There are just as many syllables in sandwich as "sammies" so what's gives? Last time I checked, abbreviations were used for important words like FBI. "EVOO" (extra virgin olive oil) might save Ray a few breaths but it's so annoyingly cutesy, you just want to lock her in the pantry during the break. Why not have Rach mime her way through segments. It's enough to make me have a BM and I do mean Bloody Mary, not Bowl Movement.
Short Talk Cheat Sheet for the Faint of Heart:
EVOO Extra Virgin Olive Oil is too er, wordy for Ray who describes herself as "an impatient girl—that's why I make 30-minute meals!"
YUM-O! So good that "yum" just isn't enough of an exclamation. The accent is on the "O" as in, "Oh! That is so good!"
DELISH! Extra Yum-O!
EYEBALL IT Use your peeps to estimate amounts; i.e a tablespoon is a full palm of dried spices.
G.B. Garbage Bowl
HOW GOOD IS THAT? Begs an answer to the question of how delish or yum-o something is.
© 2009 Marcia Merson. All Rights Reserved.
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